A touch of paint, a magic nail Can turn a kitchen chair into a Chippendale
On screen – a video medley of all the exploits (Vaguely 'Monkees' style) that KATIE & KRISTINA get up to around town practising for their audition starts as Doris Day starts singing….'A Woman's Touch' from Calamity Jane.
Whilst the montage is playing, KATIE & KRISTINA RE-enter the stage about ¾ of the way through the song -
K & K are getting ready and preening themselves on stage, using a mono-printed hand mirror that is hanging from the ceiling to powder and re-apply lipstick, moving props around ready for the FINALE.
The footage starts to get grating, the song saccharine, so AFTER 1MIN 30 APPROX KRISTINA gets up and turns it off. The sound of the record being scraped off is jarring.
Video shows black screen. It then shows a record spinning round which merges into a MOON. The MOON remains on screen for the rest of this dialogue.
That song is just vile, isn’t it. I can’t bear to hear another second. Come on come on come on let’s just do one more rehearsal of the whole song that we choose, all the way through, with as much gusto as we can muster, no distractions.
KATIE
but we’ve still not decided which song we want to do…!
KRISTINA
I don’t bloody care any more… I am SO TIRED. The Black Hills of Dakota is WAY BEYOND our limited ranges, we know that…
KATIE
and so slow too…we’ll bore that nice showbiz agent guy to death you know…
and I know that we have got a really good routine worked out but I just can’t stand to hear that (sings…)
HUMP of the Deadwood stage – it’s just fucking irritating
KRISTINA
Katie they are all fucking irritating after you hear them a thousand times. But if you want to be a star…
We’ll do the Windy City.
KATIE
But the Deadwood Stage has that bit about nicking clothes off washing lines, it’s very good. But too long.
OK, OK, we’ll do it once more. We’ve still got the whole of tomorrow to rehearse. And Sunday if we want to go to the Monday evening audition.
(indicate small poster again)
Kristina gives Katie a
look that says ‘you’re having a bloody laugh intcha’
KRISTINA
Yes, that’s far too rich. This audition is taking over our lives!
KATIE
Yes, you are right! let’s do it once more….
But, I don’t know, I think we kind of need… a helping hand of some sort.
KRISTINA
Yeah you’re right
KATIE
Why don’t we ask these folks?
