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nobody@vox.com(KatieandKristina) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 11:59:14 -0700

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Radio FM – Press Release

nobody@vox.com(KatieandKristina) — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 11:15:57 -0700

Generous swabs of Barbra Streisand, with or without a Gibb brother, interpretations by Mantovani of everything, journeys via strings to Paris, Rome, Austria and Hawaii:
Radio FM has trawled through the lot of it and is ready with a 24 hour launch broadcast-a-thon.

It’s off season, but James Brown’s Christmas plea, ‘I'm begging you Santa Claus,
Go straight to the ghetto’ sounds more soulful than ever, just as saccharine promotional jingles by Lesley Gore and Roy Orbison for Coca-Cola will leave you with a furry tongue.

Join us 0900 till 0900 aboard the good ship Radio FM where such cargo is yielded from the Elsewhere collection.

There’s a handsome new display unit full of 45s. This is where the treasure is that makes up our unique playlist:

The best of Stax, some with great chunks bitten out, but mostly just as scratchy as an old jukebox demands. Just fabulous. Donna Summer on the hour, Melba Moore’s album tracks, the Pointer Sisters’ solo efforts (Bonnie) are all here.

It’s a family show, folks. Not a parental guidance explicit lyrics warning ruining the LP covers to be seen. We just have to hope that our highly prized disc jockeys keep it strictly PG-13.

What better way to move from those stolen remnants of Saturday Night (well Sunday morning) to Monday morning? Have us in bed with you at 9 – and don’t feel lonely that it’s just Radio FM and your breakfast under the sheets. And if you’re entertaining – we’ve got the love songs to keep you under the covers.

Still lonely? Stay with us as we move into the Heartbreak Coma hour, playing the splintering anthems that you crave when real life isn’t enough to make you cry.

Hungry? It’s Lunch Club between 1 and 2 at Radio FM, we go off air and leave you to listen to the best food anthems, uninterrupted for an hour.

We catch up with singing stars who have defied trends and continued throughout their lifetimes recording - how could Andre Williams comeback I wanna be your favourite pair of pajamas be in the top 10 alongside Cher’s Believe? And Lee Hazelwood’s Cake or Death is our featured album. We’ll politely skim past the Eddie Izzard references, so do stay with us.

After midnight, slip into something red, shiny, lacy and synthetic because we have Sexy Bad Music hour. Might last an hour, might be considerably less – who’s to say?

Let the music, fun and chat keep you company until the Monday morning rush to work.

Don’t forget your sandwiches, your bus pass or some anecdotes about your weekend to share at the water cooler. Can’t think of any? Why not tell the temp on the front desk about a great new radio station…
Radio FM: a case for radio, a place for radio, a face for radio.

16th September 2007

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The Set 2..confirmed.

nobody@vox.com(KatieandKristina) — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 13:51:14 -0700

THE SET

A REHEARSAL SPACE for an audition the day after tomorrow, in a former thrift store turned museum.
The action takes place within the library amongst a paper-thin set, which hangs from the ceiling in a complicated web of fishing line.

The set and props (most do not move) are entirely hand-drawn in newsprint – piles of books reach the ceiling, hung in front of real shelves, a record player and typewriter are on stage, as is a hand-mirror in front of a large poster, sheet music is on the floor towards the front of the stage and a few hand-drawn records are laid out by the record player.

On the right hand side is a typewriter that hangs from the ceiling.

A clock hangs high in the library; it is just after eight thirty on a late summer’s evening.

Toward the front of the stage is a sign with movable vinyl lettering (made of Monoprints) hidden behind it.

On the left hand side of the mirrors, on the back wall, is a frieze/poster of an AUDITION NOTICE.

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2nd September 2007

nobody@vox.com(KatieandKristina) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 19:33:45 -0700

2ND SEPT 2007 - 1st Draft – SET IN 'SKY LOUNGE' (ALL CONTENT SUBJ.TO CHANGE)

Working Title: Audition Notice
by Katie Horwich & Kristina O’Donnell

THE SET

The top floor of a turn of the century boarding house in Greensboro, North Carolina. It is late summer, the mosquitos have laid off their prey and the mornings are cooler. The action takes place at about eight on a Friday evening. The sun is streaming through the windows to the right hand side of the stage, bathing the centre in a warm orange light. There is an odd sense of elation and fatigue.

The set has been roughly constructed – a concertina of full length mirrors are propped up against the back wall, and much of the other props are oddments from past performances.

The boarding house is next door to an old thrift store which has been converted to an artist’s space and museum. Remnants of past works remain onset – it has been artistically painted, the design is laboured – the walls are painted like a endless blue sky, complete with painted clouds and draped white fabric. It is, however, dilapidated.

A sculpture park on the back left hand side is decaying, and incongruous to the setting. Other props can be seen dotted throughout the room – a set of seats from a light aircraft have been organized, once, into rows, but now these rows have become slightly out of order given the appearance of the aftermath of a clumsy landing where no one was hurt.

An attractive ‘coffin’ table is in the middle of the room, but may be moved across the set during the performance.

Slightly in front of the mirrors is a sign with movable vinyl lettering in a small pot next to it. It is slightly out of place in its setting, far from its normal habitat of a lower end hotel or conference centre lobby.

On the left hand side of the mirrors, on the back wall, is a frieze/poster of an AUDITION NOTICE.

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3rd September 2007...the characters

nobody@vox.com(KatieandKristina) — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 14:08:14 -0700

THE CHARACTERS

KRISTINA
blond, in her mid-twenties, tall.
She is wearing a red shirt-dress and flip-flops with rope soles. She wears a head-scarf tied in a bow on her head.

She loves a pun, a catch phrase, and can’t resist shooting actions with mimed pop-guns.

KATIE is shorter, with dark hair, dressed in work jeans and a plain black top. On her feet are rotting tennis shoes.
She too wears a headscarf, tied sometimes around her head to flatten her hair but mostly around her neck.

Both are dirty and sweaty, looking tired and unkempt. This is not due to poverty or for want of a shower and clean clothes, but because of their work as artists.

They try to compensate for this disheveled appearance by wearing full faces of make-up at all times. And too much perfume which may waft into the audience. Both constantly touch-up and re-powder. KATIE in particular reapplies generous lashes of red lipstick periodically.

Note – They make enthusiastic + noble attempts to improve their singing (through home-made karaoke machines) but are new to improving themselves through Dance.
They have just discovered ‘ZUMBA’ to which they may refer. It is a “fusion of Latin & International music combined with body sculpting movements with easy to follow dance movements”
(With thanks to Bryan Family YMCA)

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Props

nobody@vox.com(KatieandKristina) — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 15:03:05 -0700

RE: props WE'LL ADD TO THIS LIST AS WE FIND THEM -
We might not have time to make everything. We might not need all this things either. But these are a few ideas.

Record player
hand mirror
scripts for actors
sheet music, music books
wizard of oz book
an old type-writer
lap-top

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Record Player crackles out Mantovani's version of 'Somewhere over the Rainbow'

nobody@vox.com(KatieandKristina) — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 15:29:16 -0700

Scene 1 - LIVE

Spotlight on KRISTINA who is arranging the letters on the noticeboard to spell out
‘AUDITION NOTICE…date…sept…’

KATIE is standing at the typewriter

meanwhile on VIDEO

Greensboro Cultural Centre.

FLAMINGO BY MARTIN DENNY can be heard playing in the background.

KATIE is in the community room, a room with all the traits of a municipal building – she walks amongst the felt notice-board, perusing the local goings-on, home made posters, font and page-maker happy. Nothing much catches her eye, though she is generous with her time.
*Until*
CLOSE-UP ON AUDITION NOTICE -
THERE IS A PILE OF AUDITION NOTICES ON THE SIDE AND BOTH KRISTINA & KATIE GRAB GREEDY HANDFULS

LIGHTS ON STAGE

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Are we really going to do this?

nobody@vox.com(KatieandKristina) — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 15:41:35 -0700

Scene 2

Background video footage shows …scripts being flicked through

KRISTINA PICKS UP THE LILAC POSTER FROM THE COFFIN TABLE AND FINGERS IT NERVOUSLY. SHE TURNS TO KATIE WHO IS SEATED AT THE TYPEWRITER.

KRISTINA
So, are we really going to do this? I think we should...
Maybe we could get someone to film it secretly, and then see if we can do something with it later? It could be our big break!

KATIE
Absolutely yes! It will be hilarious – we can go in undercover and finally get to perform with a karaoke CD of our choice or maybe a pianist! How perfect would that be? Come on, we’ve have been here for five days now and not had a sniff of karaoke!

FADE TO BLACK

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Scripts are available for perusal - so please come on in!

nobody@vox.com(KatieandKristina) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 15:52:34 -0700

VIDEO SHOWS Close-up shot of scripts of the Wizard of Oz
Exterior shot at Greensboro Cultural Centre. K & K have both been to read the scripts.
ZOOM IN on sign reading something along the lines of....

GREENSBORO COMMUNITY THEATER – DIRECTOR – READ SCRIPTS HERE.
CAMERA POV SHOT READS SIGN,

K & K GO THROUGH DOOR AND THEN COME OUT AGAIN –

VIDEO SHOWS FOUNTAIN outside cultural centre.

Scene 3 –LIVE ACTION

KATIE
He was amazing, that guy, wasn’t he? Do you think he’s the director? He was like a real old-fashioned theatre type – I’d certainly feel very comfortable if he was my agent.

KRISTINA
What was it he said to you? (affecting a New York accent) So you wanna be in it? You wanna be on stage? We gonna see you next week at the auditions?

KATIE
Ha, yes, I just said... uh uh uh I hope so…I mean if if if if I can muster up the courage. If only I had some courage!

KRISTINA
AH…!

They laugh.

KATIE
And he said that we could do any song that we want…

VIDEO goes BLACK, LIGHTS GO DOWN–

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Movie Soundtracks and Music from the Musicals.

nobody@vox.com(KatieandKristina) — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 12:03:01 -0700

VIDEO SHOWS SHEET MUSIC AS K & K are looking at sheet music on stage.

Scene 4 LIVE ACTION

K & K are deciding which musical they want to do a song from. They look through the SHEET MUSIC and a few OLD VINYL RECORDS that they have found amongst the collection at Elsewhere.

VIDEO FOOTAGE PANS OVER A SELECTION OF SOUNDTRACKS AND RECORDS FROM THE ELSEWHERE COLLECTION. CHOICE PARTS ARE HIGHLIGHTED – JULIE ANDREW’S FACE, KIDS FROM FAME, MANY VERSIONS BY MANTOVANI OF WEST SIDE STORY TRACKS

KRISTINA – holding up a record – speaks as the second record can be seen on the video

West side story?

KATIE
Very good for practicing our Puerto Rican accents…and our Zumba moves! What a perfect marriage. The song, though…America! Too obvious, maybe? There must be a nice duet in there…

KRISTINA
I don’t know…it’s all a bit…(New York accent again)
Tony, Tony! Maria! Maria!

KATIE
There just don’t seem to be that many with good female duets… Have you seen Carousel – with Carrie and Julie? I was desperate to be Julie when I was a child

KRISTINA
Not seen it

KATIE
Oh it’s brilliant, it’s one of my favourites…and half the action takes place in Heaven.
There are stars made of glass hanging from the ceiling and you can see the string that they are strung from.

KRISTINA
Not seen it

KATIE
Oh it’s so good! You MUST watch it. Julie is married to Billy Bigelo, this big, rough rogue who hits her and it feels like a kiss. Then he gets stabbed during a petty crime spree and the rest of the film is broadcast from heaven on his part.
Heart-breaking. Lots of fairground scenes if that’s your bag.

pause. They look at one another, slightly despairing.

KRISTINA
Nothing involving Julie Andrews
pause
and it goes without saying that we don’t touch Webber.

KATIE
DITTO Rent ditto Stomp

Laughter

KATIE
But I really do like My Fair Lady, you know. I don’t care that Audrey Hepburn has that weird Swedish cockney accent. That’s my dream role. Especially after Martine McCutcheon made the crossover and played the role in the West End. The story I suppose would kind of complement this piece, you know, facades and pretence and all that, but…it’s set in London and we want to¬ forget about that place!
We want something American don’t we,
(Quoting My Fair Lady) WHY CAN’T A WOMAN…BE MORE…LIKE A MAN?! MEN ARE SO… HONEST, SO THOROUGHLY SQUARE

KRISTINA (INTERRUPTING)
Guys and Dolls?

KATIE
not seen it

KRISTINA
me either.

how about Calamity Jane? It’s got some good numbers…

KATIE
Mmmm…if my memory serves me correctly…

Pause

BACKGROUND RECORD PICTURES ON VIDEO ZOOM IN AND LINGER ON A DORIS DAY ALBUM

A Butch cow-girl rides into to town and everyone thinks she’s a bloke…
so she sets up home with the most peaches n cream gal in town…In a wooden shed!
And her name’s Katie
They do up the place…There are quite a few ‘chicks with tools’ shots before freshly-cut flowers and
gingham tablecloths enter the scene. And then they paint their names on their front door in nice handwriting!

Pause

THEN TURNS TO BLACK FOR THE FEW SECOND LONG INTRO.

of ‘A Woman’s Touch’ from Calamity Jane – 2 mins worth

LIGHTS OFF – Video starts as Doris Day starts singing.

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